All Things Must Pass.... including this blog???

 I think we may have reached the end of the line for this blog.  I have 130 entries, not including this one.  There have been 270 comments made by the viewers.  Since it began in December 2019, there have been over 48,000 page views.  But I feel like I have run out of things to say.  

Let there be no mistake, I am grieving Pam's loss.   I miss her every day.  I miss getting hugs every morning.  I am learning to live with the fact that she is gone... except for all my memories.  I am sure that I will always have those moments when I see a picture, or hear a song, or have a thought run through my head and I will tear up.  But life will go on.  The pain of her loss will diminish.  The inability to concentrate, the up and down sleep pattern, and the days of little motivation will all start to go away.  

But in the last couple of weeks I have realized that my issue, my Achilles if you will, will be living alone.  I never, ever thought about being retired and living alone.  I have not yet come to grips with that idea.   I think the psych-types will equate this with loneliness.  Psychology Today has a number of good articles on the subject.  I guess that should be a topic of discussion with my counselor after Thanksgiving.  So far, I am not liking it at all.

As Thanksgiving approaches, I am not looking forward to it.  This will be the first holiday without her.  I know... I should be focused on the family that will be gathered with me around the table.   I am very grateful for those that  will be sharing their time with me.  I am sure they will understand why I will be setting a place for Pam at the head of the table where she usually sat.  I expect that I will need to leave the table and go to a private place to be alone.   But we will get through it and enjoy the holiday.

Christmas will be especially hard.  That was her season.  She always had the house decorated so well.  I think the boys are going to do that for her this year.  I bought her a Christmas present.  Last Christmas we had to show her how to unwrap her presents because she did not remember.  Such a horrible disease.

Now, some good memories.  One of our favorite places to visit was Bermuda.  Pam booked the first cruise there with a few couples from her bowling league.  We had such a good time that we cruised back again the next two years, only we brought the girls with us.  At the time, Norwegian Cruise Lines was using the Norwegian Majesty for the Boston to Bermuda run.  The Majesty was small enough that it could fit through a channel in the stone cliff outside of St. George's.  So the ship was our hotel for the duration of our stay.   The people of St. George's were wonderful.  The old community, founded in 1612, was safe and welcoming.  We did several guided walks around the area and a horse-drawn carriage ride.  We all had a wonderful time there.  Pam and I returned to Bermuda four or five more time by air.  Our last visit was the destination wedding of our youngest daughter.  Enjoy the photos.