The next time that she says No, the answer will be YES!...

A little before 6 am on Sunday morning, I am in the kitchen making NY Crumb cake for breakfast.  Suddenly, the noise of the spatula scraping the bowl was interrupted by a crash.  Sure enough, Pam is laying on the living room floor.  She had spent the entire evening sleeping on the couch.  Not laying down and sleeping.  No, sitting up and sleeping.  Despite repeated attempts to move her to the bed, her answer was always "No" or "leave me alone".  From now on, the answer will be "Yes".  But how do I get that done?  Physically forcing her violates my Use of Force Policy.  I don't care what Teepa Snow says.  She was not here.  And Pam's safety is MY responsibility.  Yes, you are moving to the bed!

Our preparations for the holiday are moving right along.  For the first year ever, I set a dollar limit on Christmas presents and stuck too it.   Amazon is not going to be happy with me.  I have spent considerable less than previous years.  Jeff Bazos will just have to forget that extra car.  I am very anxious about this Christmas.  Will Pam have a good day and participate or will she have a bad day and sleep through it?  I suspect that this will be the last that she recognizes family and I am hoping that it is a good day.

I did go a little overboard in one area.  Our family tradition has been turkey, etc and pies for dessert on Thanksgiving and then spiral ham, Au gratin potatoes, and cookies galore for dessert on Christmas.  We would each bring two or three varieties of cookies and fill a three-tiered tray to overflow.  So where did I go crazy?  Well, the ham of course.  Since they were on sale, I bought a 19+ pound spiral cut whole ham.    This baby is huge.  It is going to take 5 hours to cook it.  But there will be plenty of leftovers for sandwiches, western omelets, and quiche.  Having the entire family together for the holidays has always been so important to me.    And this year has special importance.  So lets hope she has a good day.

 On the medical front, I am still dealing with this infection in my left elbow.  We have no idea where it came from.  A week in the hospital on IV antibiotics every three hours knocked it down some.  I then did ten days of oral antibiotics.  The arm looks much better.  But only two days after the oral dose was complete, I could feel it flare up again.  It was swollen and red and you could actually feel the heat coming from the core area of the infection.  So we are back on another ten days of oral antibiotics.  I had a followup with our Primary Care doc about my elbow.  But we spent half the time talking about Pam, who slept through the entire 30 minute appointment.  The doctor admitted that she was surprised by how rapid the decline has been.

In the mean time, Pam has had an MRI of the brain and an EEG to see if they could pinpoint the cause of her seizure.  They found nothing extraordinary.   She has begun having trouble speaking.  Sometimes she will start a sentence and stop half-way through because the idea is gone.  At other times she speaks words which don't really relate to the context of the conversation.  At other times she just remains silent.  It is getting difficult to communicate with her.  Our daughters have been encouraging me to find a place for her where she can get the care that she needs.  They say that it's not that I can't give her that care.  It is just that providing that care, alone, is taking a significant toll on me.   I know that they are right.

Our bright spot is the home health aid from Home Instead.  We now have the same person all three days a week.  She and Pam seem to have a great relationship.  She doesn't let Pam sleep, but keeps her engaged in various activities.  Yesterday they made sugar cookies.   If the weather is at all decent outside, she takes Pam out for fresh air, pushing her in the transport chair.   The end of the session every day is marked with some upper body exercises left by the physical therapist.

I am really hoping that the holiday will be a good day for Pam.  She had her nails done in festive red.  She hasn't asked about doing any Christmas shopping, but I have everyone covered.  I would love the grandsons to have joyous time with Gmom so that will be what they remember.  We have our fingers crossed.

To all of my readers, the entire Rozett family wishes you a very Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah, as appropriate.  If you are a heathen, it is just another Monday.  Stop whining and go to work.  (only kidding).  Happy Holidays to everyone.